WHY WAITING FOR MARRIAGE BEFORE SEX MAKES MORE SENSE

The decision of whether or not to engage in intimacy before marriage is a personal and subjective choice that varies among individuals and cultures. Different people have different beliefs, values, and moral frameworks when it comes to relationships and intimacy.

Traditionally, in many societies, the idea of waiting until marriage to engage in sexual intimacy has been influenced by religious, cultural, and moral considerations. Here are a few reasons that some people may offer for abstaining from intimacy before marriage.

THE IMPORTANCE OF SEXUAL SATISFACTION

 First individuals believe that exploring intimacy before marriage is crucial for assessing sexual compatibility. They argue that sexual compatibility is an important aspect of a fulfilling long-term relationship. By engaging in premarital intimacy, couples can better understand each other's needs, desires, and compatibility in the bedroom. This perspective emphasises the importance of sexual satisfaction as an integral part of a healthy and harmonious relationship.

Moreover, proponents of exploring intimacy before marriage stress the significance of open communication and trust. Engaging in physical intimacy before marriage can foster honest conversations about desires, boundaries, and expectations. By openly discussing these aspects, couples can establish a foundation of trust and understanding, which contributes to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

SOLID FOUNDATION OF A FUTURE MARRIAGE

However, there are counterarguments that challenge the notion of waiting until marriage for physical intimacy.

One common reason people choose to wait until marriage for intimacy is the emotional attachment it can foster. Supporters of this viewpoint argue that by refraining from physical intimacy, couples can focus on building a strong emotional foundation. They believe that this approach enhances the commitment between partners and ensures that intimacy is based on a deeper connection. By valuing emotional bonding before physical expression, they aim to create a solid foundation for their future marital relationship.

VALUES

Furthermore, certain religious and cultural beliefs emphasise the sacredness of the marital union. For adherents of these beliefs, sexual intimacy is considered a sacred act that should be reserved for the sanctity of marriage. Abstaining from premarital intimacy aligns with their values and ensures that it is experienced within the context of a committed lifelong partnership. It is important to recognise that these beliefs vary across different faiths and cultural practices.

PROTECTION

Another argument often put forth by those who advocate for abstinence is the desire to avoid potential negative consequences. Engaging in premarital intimacy can carry physical, emotional, and social risks. Unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), emotional attachment without long-term commitment, or potential social stigma are concerns raised by proponents of waiting until marriage. By abstaining from intimacy, individuals seek to protect themselves from these potential repercussions and ensure a healthier start to their married life.

DECISION

It is crucial to recognise that views on premarital intimacy vary across different cultures, religious beliefs, and personal values. While some individuals may find fulfilment in exploring physical intimacy before making a lifelong commitment,  others  may choose to wait until marriage for intimacy. Ultimately, the decision should be based on open communication, mutual respect, and consent between partners. 

Regardless of the choice made, it is important to prioritise the well-being and happiness of both individuals involved in the relationship. Nevertheless, intimacy before marriage appear to be relationships that put more emphasis on pleasure than relationship building and later a strong marriage building.

Ultimately, on the balance of things, waiting until marriage before intimacy offers higher probabilities of a strong marriage based on a deeper connection, respect, compatibility in vital areas such as mental and spiritual bonding. Research and studies conclude that marriages lasted longer based on abstinence before marriage. According to Dr Andrew Magers, “There is good scientific data to suggest that waiting is better than not”

Book suggestion: 1 Hooked, New Science on How Casual Sex Is Affecting Our Children (2008) by Joe S. McIlhnaey, Jr., MD & Freda McKissic Bush, MD.